''Do I miss Dubai?''

The main question I get asked the most. People have probably wondered why I haven't done a post on moving back from Dubai before now. Seeing as I've been back since June - a whole 6 months. You'd have thought it would have been one of the main things I would have spoken about on here but the truth is it's been too hard to. Too hard I suppose to sit down and actually tackle all of those mixed emotions. Because I know what the honest answer to that question is. Yes I do, terribly. 

More so in recent weeks. The darker mornings/evenings, the chilling biting weather and the fact that everyone in Britain wants to get into their pj's at 5pm on a Friday night have contributed to this feeling of unease.

So yes, I miss Dubai. I miss the feel of the early morning sunshine as we made our way to the beach for a morning stroll, the cloudless sky dotted with brave skydivers, the twinkly lights of the Burj Khalifa as the fountains danced and swayed, the immaculate coffee shops which became our second homes, popping stranded starfish back into the warm Arabian sea, and the hypnotic call of prayer which reminded me of the giant adventure we were on. Oh and I miss my flip flops, denim shorts and even my permanently sweaty top lip. 

But mostly I miss the life myself and my husband built together from scratch without any help from anyone else. The early morning trips to Ikea to buy cheap furniture for our first home together, the companionable silence watching the sun set, our nightly drives down Jumeirah Beach Road to pick up a Chai tea, and even the sticky humid walks late at night around the marina.

I miss the friends we made our family and I miss those friendships that were just getting off the start line. The ones that had we have stayed I know would have become friends for life.

There is so much of Dubai I miss that it has been easier to put it to the back of my mind and put a brave face on it. But the truth is there are days when I long so much to be back that it physically aches. I guess that's the problem with moving away. Your heart no longer belongs to one place, it is split in two, with one foot permanently in one country and the other in another.

So what about the other side of my heart? The one that belongs in England? Because that's the thing, I also love the UK and I missed it terribly when I was away. Spontaneous summer BBQ's, the smell of the air as it changes through the seasons, our families who were always so much on our minds when we away, and our lovely friends who have remained just that, lovely.

Although there are days when I question what the hell we've done, I know we have made the right choice. For now and for our future. Mainly from the all round feeling of being more complete now I'm back home. Why? Because of this reason:

 Dubai isn't a forever home.

Which is what makes it so hard to fully settle there. Because you know that one day you are going to have to uproot yourself and your future family from everything that has become the very fabric of your life. As will your friends who will eventually settle into old and new corners of the world. Which is why sometimes it's easier to just rip off the plaster sooner rather than later (even though you know it's going to hurt like a bitch) and do the inevitable before it becomes too hard to.

So yes Dubai I miss you. I will always miss you and you will forever have a chunk of my heart. But for now I'm going to try and keep positive through the depths of the UK's winter, get to know and hopefully fall in love with home again, and save up for a holiday home.... Because a girl has to have a little sunshine in her life.

Love, Becky x

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